Can't We All Just Get Along?

by The Skeptics

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Dedicated to James Randi, JREF, and all clear-thinking individuals who are fond of dirty words.


He said “Come up for coffee”
Before she reached her floor
Now, some folks who have vaginas don’t show up here anymore
Well, perhaps that guy was wrong
But can't we all just get along?

Now, Professor Richard Dawkins
Said, "Really, what's the harm?
He never put his cock in or even touched your arm."
Well, even smart guys get stuff wrong
Can't we all just get along?

Soon the blogosphere went ape-shit
And that ape-shit hit the fan
Some cried, "Hey gals, just chill out," and some said "Kill the man!"
We all stood our moral high ground,
Using 20-dollar words
Lots of people talkin'
But nobody bein' heard

You can't put back the toothpaste
Once you've squeezed it out the tube
So don't be a fucking douchebag and go grabbing someone's boob
We all know that shit is wrong
So can't we all just get along?

We know guys may cross the line sometimes
That we all understand
So might even Stephen Hawking, if he had working hands
“No means no,” and “be polite”
On this we all agree
Look at all these nerds around
How much safer could you be?

Opinions are like assholes
And there’s plenty of ‘em here
But most don’t act like Alec Baldwin after suckin’ down a beer
We can all tell right from wrong
So can’t we all just get along?

Yes, Dawkins was a dick,
And he shouldn't get a pass
But honestly, some chicks should pull the sticks out of their ass
It’s not the weak against the strong
It's not Fay Wray against King Kong
I heard last year some girls got grabby
With Paul Provenza’s schlong!

But here’s the point of this whole song:
Can't we all just get along?


released July 13, 2012
Written and sung by Gary Stockdale and Eric Schwartz
Piano: Gary Stockdale
Recorded at Caledonia Studios, Los Angeles, CA



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The Skeptics Los Angeles, California

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